180 degrees

Wow, so...to try and get my mind off the whole Andrew thing I ended up turning on my Match.com account again. Silly, I know, but every once in a while a girl just needs a little boost, you know? So I met this guy Nick who, once again, seemed great on paper, but was a little awkward when we met. And to top it all off he went in for not just a goodnight kiss, but a goodnight makeout session which irritated the shit our of me since I gave him no signals that I was looking to go there. I guess if a girl just smiles that's enough of a "sign" these days.

I did get to go home for a few days, which was completely impromptu but great. Sonny was there so I got to spend a little time with everyone. Short but sweet, just the way I like it. Back home for the week and then Memorial Day was aready there. After much anticipation, Matt's friend Jim came down for Bike Jam. My first impression wasn't great, but we quickly ended up hitting it off and spending most of the weekend together. I had to make the first move at Bay Cafe of all places, while a disappointed Andrea was witness to something that wasn't meant for her to see.

But Jim was great. He is great. And now I'm stuck again. The more I get to know him, the more he haunts my thoughts throughout the day. Snipits of conversation, lying by the pool in our own little world, my feet resting in his lap at Scores, making out on the Schneider's couch...then making love in their guest room - intoxicated and feverish at first, then in the glow of lazy sunday morning light. I hate when I get these inklings, since they always seem to be wrong, but it feels so good at the same time to have someone in particular on the brain. I feel giddy again....I lose control of my thoughts when I should be paying attention and end up with a shit eating grin on my face and shivers through my body. To be with someone who is actually able to express their pleasure vocally rather than keeping it in....is so strangely liberating and stimulating to me.

"I'm sorry kept staring at you at the pool today."

"You weren't staring at me..."

"Yes, I was..." grin (and what a great grin it is)

"I'm going to have to start looking for more flights to Baltimore because you are amazing"

"We could keep in touch, if you want..."

"I just can't believe you're single..."

He seems so genuine, and because he's friends with Matt it leads me to believe that there are multiple facets to this person...all of which I can't wait to get to know. Funny that San Diego is here but the only place I want to be is in Boston... His lack of hesitance fuels this...throwing out more trips to Baltimore, asking if we could keep in touch, checking to see when the next open weekend is so that we can see each other, inviting me to Boston regardless of whether or not Matt goes and opening up his parents home even when we barely know each other. Honestly I am a bit frightened at how much I want to know this person more...my heart cannot take more sadness and disappointment...