what is this?

So I finally address the elephant in the room, grab the tie, make things happen...and still he is evasive. We go to the bar, he has his arm around me...I sleep at his place, we wake up in the morning and talk for hours...he invites me to a show at the 9:30 club, reminds me that he was serious about having dinner Monday (which is tonight, incidentally and clearly I am not at dinner,)and yet somehow I knew in the back of my head that we would not be seeing each other tonight. Is it a game? Did I throw myself at him and he just wasn't interested? Am I really that bad at reading the signs? For once this is someone who seems to make sense, but then i guess that is my problem - maybe I just don't know anyone all that well.

Why am I being slightly obsessive about this one? Is it really him, or is it just me in my head?

Wrong...again

I, I do not trust myself anymore. I live in a world of ideals, bound by my complex mind. Reading the last post I feel like a fool. I jump in head first without caution, it happens every time. I do not deserve to find my match or be a part of a pair. I am obviously not ready. And I clearly have no understanding of my true feelings, because one minute I am on and the next I am off but always I am alone.